I once knew a dynamic speaker who, just before he’d exit the stage, would insist that nobody clap for him. Instead, he’d say, spend the next two minutes in silence thinking about what I’ve said. After all, he’d continue, this vital and crucial information isn’t meant to bring honor and glory to me.

No, no, no, he’d hold his hands up to the audience, not about me, it’s meant to help you.

I don’t know what others thought during that two minutes, but all I could think of was him and how he pretty much just called everyone in the audience inattentive because now he has to remind us to think real hard again about his awesome advice and apply it to ourselves.

Which brought of course, his words notwithstanding, exactly what he wanted: More attention.

I never liked him. Come to find out, his wife couldn’t stand him either. The Big D soon followed because she found a man who actually liked her…a lot…and told the world how awesome she was instead of how much she had to improve upon. Their kids did not blame Mom.

These days the new phrase that brings a ton of attention to self is “grateful and humbled” as in “I am so grateful and humbled for…”

— this honor that I definitely don’t deserve…but all you others out there for sure don’t deserve it, either, or else you would’ve gotten it.

— this group I lead…that have done everything I told them and see how awesome it has all turned out because of my spectacular leadership.

— all these birthday wishes on Facebook…that you didn’t get when it was your birthday.

— having all this success…that you don’t have and wish you did.

Of course, after all that comes the silent but implied “suckah!” and the raspberry tongue.

Whatever happened to the good old “thank you very much” and the “I’d like to thank these people for helping me…”?

Huh?

Where did it go?

Please bring it back.

Look, if you have to tell everybody you are grateful and humbled, then…you know?